Redfearn Celebrates Another Great Victory

Can you remember when I won 'Who do you love' hug an inflatable competition earlier this year, crushing you all like flies? Well look I've done it again with the 'hold up something from the shop display' competition - unless you can beat it, which I doubt. In this case it's a giant Carhatt logo.

I've Been Ripped-off

I got some 'reduced to clear' oranges from Sainsbury's today. I think I might have been swizzed!

Cute aren't they - Americans that is

Although they look like they have had hash cakes for breaky instead of their normal bamboo leaves, these so-called bears are real pandas. After years of trying to get the lazy bastards to breed in captivity, apparently now they are sporogin' out the bairns like no one's business.

How did the Chinese manage that? They can barely be bothered to feed themselves, let alone any kids. After panda mums give birth, they look down at their new born, give a sigh, then let the kid slide off their bellies and onto the floor. Then they amble off for a nap leaving muggins here to hand rear the cub.


Luckily for the giant panda, their only predator is man. God that must be a hard job, finding a big black and white bear in a field of green bamboo - all you'd have to do is follow the sound of snoring. Why on earth would you hunt them anyway? Traditional Chinese animal derived 'medicines' imbued the patient with the qualities of the animal from which they were derived. Therefore if you eat tiger claws you get all cunning and agile, oxtail and you get strong, snake heads and you'd get sly etc. What 'special powers' would you get from panda powder - a cure for insomnia if your lucky. Lazy little sods.

Anyway I showed this photo my colleague Jeanean who is American and she said 'Oh gee, Polar bears'. 'Nuff said.

Who Do You Love Entry Disqualified

This entry, which apparently is a giant upside down inlatable purple cow was from Catto who initially claimed victory until I pointed out that she needed to hug it. If you don't hug it how do we know it's a 'giant' upside down inflatable purple cow. Soz, but them's the rules.

Who Do You Love - Hug an Inflatable Competition Entry

I admit it's grainy footage like that famous film of big foot. But this isn't an elaborate hoax, this is me hugging a giant inflatable bottle of Sol. Unfortunately you can't see the giant lime stuck in the top.

Vegi Crispy Bacon

Occasionally I get a pang for a crispy, streaky, smoky bacon sandwich on stodgy thick cut white bread. These oak roasted cherry tomatoes come very close to the sensation. They go great with melted cheese, or stirred into hot pasta. I bought them at the Woking Farmers Market. The only thing it says on the label is Isle of White Tomatoes PO BOX36 ONP.

I saw a Peregrine Falcon on our building today!

Ok it's it's a crap photo but it was definitely a Peregrine. Peregrine Falcons are the fastest bird in the world and rare in Britain. If you want to know more about his amazing bird click here:

http://www.rspb.org/birds/guide/p/peregrine/did_you_know.asp

Quadra Burga

Burgers are great, but it's annoying when all the filling falls out round the back of the burger. Well Jeanean cut her burger into quarters today making it much more manageable and reducing the risk of 'filling slippage' - genius absolute genius.

Everyone is having babies these days - even me!

Yeah, yeah, I know they are boring to you, but fuckin' hell man I love my 'sky garden'. I had a baby salad leaf sandwich for my lunch today with leaves grown in my sky garden. Last night I had a stir fry with sugar snap peas from my sky garden. This morning I had a couple of raspberries before breaky from my sky garden. If I wasn't 'networking' with Graham and Andy tonight, I could have had a cheese tomato and basil omelette for my tea, with tomatoes and basil from my sky garden!

Check out more pictures from my fantastic sky garden here:

http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/3457969

Tip: choose 'view as slide show', this link can be found in the grey bar under the main album title.

I was walking past a travel agents in Clapham North last night and this window advert caught my eye. When I looked at it again I noticed why.

Well Hard!

After my recent brush with the law I thought it might be prudent to get a wicked tattoo in case I'm sent to prison. Everyone in my office liked it so much that I decided to get another one done. Now I look even harder - if that's possible!

Teddy or Freddy?

Midnight Snacking

I made the mistake of having a banana and five cans of Stella for my tea on Wednesday night. Hence I ended up having to make watercress, coriander, cucumber, spring onion, mayo and cheese tacos for my supper - they were fuckin' nice though.

Snooze Monkey

Stay away from the light Jonny!

Save me some petrol, I want one of these!

Just when you think your over the whole material possessions thing. Honda come along with this little belta. These two are customised versions, but they were designed to be modified by owners.

See Honda's website for more details. The US version the bike is called the Ruckus, in the UK it is called the Zoomer. You can get one for £2,000!

I live on the front line - really

Front line!


I was researching local history on friday when I discovered this:

http://www.urban75.org/brixton/history/atlantic5.html


Then all this kicked off in the street. I thought it was living in the new Notting Hill, apparently not.

er4 

er 3 

er 2 

Sorry Emma but big ears has been stringing you along

If you were a weird looking cat, with sticky-out-ears, but your owner loved you, and even regarded you as a friend, and gave you a cool collar with a cool tag, and probably fed you gourmet fish snacks every day, and all you had to do was lie in front of the fire and get stroked, or carried around by your owner, would you run away?

Selfish little bastard.

Bush Skills - Reduced to Clear Challange

Winning the 'reduced to clear' challenge would put all my urban bush skills to the test. Like Ray Mears, I would have to rely upon an intimate knowledge of my environment, and the daily cycles of store opening and closing hours to take advantage of any seasonal glut.

I knew from Lucinda's experience that Islington branch of Sainsbury's afforded rich pickings for the alert urban hunter gatherer, so I headed straight for the bakery department. I scanned the shelves quickly and methodically until I spotted my prey. There they were, Yumyums, herded together and oblivious to my stealth-like approach. Instinctively, now almost in a trance like state, I swooped, and with one deft move they were safely corralled within my shopping basket.

Yumyums, original price £1.99, reduced to clear price 20p!

Cats are Crap

I was thumbing through my Christmas colouring-in book this afternoon and I found this picture and thought, 'the nail's in the wrong place'.

Healthy Take-a-ways - London

This is an old photo from last year, but I wanted to publicise my new 'content stream'. Click on the link to see a list of healthy fast food take-a-ways in London. You can see the list in full, which includes other regions here: http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/food/story/0,,1761531,00.html

Shopkeepers: Know your Market

Fancy a Can?
If I were a drunk, unlikely in my case being a clean-living tea-totaller, but if I were, I'd shop here.

A Tin of Cat Food with Ears

Packaging Gone Mad
A tin of cat food with ears. I'm convinced they do this to make people on mushrooms laugh. The can on the left is slightly concave, like your waistline will be if you eat these beans. I suppose that cat tin could be used as a cookie cutter to make cat shaped cookies for your cat loving friends. You could then stand outside their house biting the ears off the cookies and making meowing noises and laughing.

Window Dogs

Window Dogs
Did you know that Brixton is 'small white dog in window' capital of Britain? Well it is. The dog on the left is a scale model of a Jack Russell Terrier. The dog on the right is an 'artistic impression' of a dog. The houses are two streets away from each other.

Any weekend where you get to eat two pizzas is a great weekend.

Check it out. I'm using the heat from my hand to heat up these cherry tomatoes to room temperature!

Inflatable Cycle Helmet

I was looking through the Argos Catalogue for a cycle helmet last night and I found this one hidden away in the hair care products section of all places. Just imagine you could get run over by a massive truck and you'd get up, and you'd be like 'didn't feel a thing!' Plus it's inflatable so when you got to the pub or wherever you could just deflate it and put it in your pocket. Obviously you'd want a fluorescent coloured one for extra visibility and safety.

PS Muddy Fox, or Ridgeback, or Sony, I had the idea first so fuck off right.

Fontastic!

I'd like a one bedroom studio flat... er on the moon, in the nineteen seventies please.

BMX Bandits

Check it out, I'm like, all over that Stockwell Skate Park. That's me in the middle and on the left and the right. I'm also being chased by the Police - in helicopters - who are just out of shot.

Parsley Burgers

Sort of like a British falafel, with avocado humus. Yeah I know what your thinking, avocado humus how tasty does that sound. Well imagine how tasty humus is, then imagine how tasty avocados are, well put them together and times by five.

The Needles

I looked down at my last piece of cheese cake and thought, coastal erosion.

Cheese Cake

So I had green spinach soup, followed by green spinach dip, then Stiggles turns up with a lime cheese cake. Which by the way was lush. That along with the release of Ray's new book, it's almost like mother nature is trying to tell us something.

That cheese cake there was so tasty, I bet if you licked the screen it would taste of lime.

Ray Mears / Beauty Myth

This is how smart Ray Mears is. He's made a insightful and compelling critique of Naomi Wolf's Beauty Myth on page 110 of his new book, just in passing! Ray Mears can also make a canoe from birch bark.

Ray Mears

Next time someone says what religion are you. I'm gonna say 'I don't believe in God, but I do believe in Ray Mears'. Lots of people say mockingly 'when are you going to utilise these survival techniques you've learned then?'. Two words: plane crash, jungle.

Pet Stroking Glove

That Robert Dyas is a fucking amazing shop. You can buy a special glove for stroking your cat or dog, a scrubbing brush disguised as a potato and a sieve that has been specially adapted for midgets. What can't you get at Robert Dyas?!

Green Lunch

Jeanean also made spinach soup, and fish cakes which I forgot I don't eat. This meant that I had a green lunch - crazy eh?